How to Talk to Your Partner About Béa

So, you've found Béa. Maybe at 2am, maybe during a lunch break scroll, maybe through a friend. And now you're here, reading this guide about how to bring Béa up with your partner, and if we're being honest, that could feel a little weird, right?

Here's the thing: trying to conceive can be one of the most isolating experiences, even when you're doing it with someone you love. You're both in it together, but you're also having completely different experiences. And now you've found something online that you think might help, but you're not sure how to bring it home without it becoming a thing.

We get it. We really do. And we're here to help you navigate this conversation with honesty, compassion, and hopefully a little less of the anxiety that might have brought you to this guide in the first place.

We listened to hundreds of Bea users talk to us about this conversation, and in this guide you can navigate to the 5 main conversations we hear about most, and how to navigate them. And if you’d prefer to just forward a link to your partner, we’ve got you. You can send them right here, to our partner guide. 

1. The “I found something on the internet” conversation, and how to bring up that you found a product online without feeling embarrassed about it 
2. The “Using a device instead of sex” conversation, and how to bring this up in a way that makes sure your partner isn’t feeling replaced
3. The “Time to try something else” conversation, and how to talk about trying something new without feeling like you’re giving up on sex
4. The “Have we failed” conversation, and how to bring up Béa without making your partner feel like they’ve somehow failed at making a baby ‘the natural way’ (pooh pooh that asap)
5. The “IT COSTS WHAT?!” conversation, and how to talk about money (difficult at the best of times, let alone whilst TTC).

If you're feeling a little sheepish about bringing Béa up with your partner, you're not alone. Here are some thoughts we hear all the time:

• Am I being misled?
• What if I go out on a limb to convince my partner to try this and it doesn't work for us?
• Am I just setting myself up for a giant "I told you so"?

If you're not feeling any of these things? Fantastic. Skip ahead to section 2. But if you are, let's talk about it.

Let go of the shame

Honestly, we get it. Trying to conceive is a rollercoaster, and those 2am rabbit hole scroll sessions don't always look as convincing in the cold light of day. The TTC journey is absolutely laden with shame. A lot of the time is spent feeling embarrassed. Embarrassed we can't conceive, embarrassed we don't know what we don't know, embarrassed that our sex lives are falling apart and we’re still not pregnant. It's a tough time. The journey can be shit, and we have to accept that. But we don't have to accept the shame.

It's okay to:

• Do research
• Look at all your choices
• Bring an idea like Béa home and put it on the table for an honest conversation

One thing that can help? Start with how you're feeling. Try something like:

"Hey, I found this company called Béa. I'd like to try it, and honestly I'm feeling a little embarrassed right now bringing this up. Can we talk about it?"

Leading with vulnerability often opens the door for your partner to be vulnerable too. And that's where real conversations happen.

If you've been trying to conceive with intercourse, introducing a device that means you don't have to have intercourse might feel a bit like rejection to one or both of you. And that's okay. Let's unpack it.

Timed intercourse is stressful (and you're not alone)

Intercourse when you're TTC is one of the most stressful parts of the journey, and you're not alone in feeling that way. One study shows that timed intercourse increases the rate of sexual dysfunction in men and women, and a large proportion of people report feeling stressed, anxious, or disconnected during timed intercourse. It stops being about connection and becomes about... obligation. Which is… not hot.

What if one of you is enjoying the sex, but the other isn’t?

This is also not uncommon, so you’re not alone here, but it's so important to have an honest conversation about this.

Let’s be clear: not enjoying timed intercourse doesn't mean you don't like having sex with your partner. It means you don't like having compulsory, non-spontaneous, scheduled sex. Does anyone actually enjoy that kind of sex?! Let's be honest. It's not sexy.

It's okay to want to make sex something you both do:

• For fun
• Because you want to
• When you're both actually in the mood, not because the app says it's "peak fertility day"

Béa can give you that. In fact, most people who use Béa tell us we gave them their sex life back. It's a bit paradoxical, but taking the pressure off intercourse can be one of the things that makes your sex life better.

How to bring this up

If you're worried your partner might feel rejected, try framing it this way:

"I've been thinking about how stressed we both seem around sex lately. I miss when it was just about us, not about timing and apps. I found something called Béa that could take that pressure off. What do you think?"

You might find that by bringing it up, you're opening up the chance for a conversation he's been wanting to have for a while. Most men feel a significant amount of pressure around timed intercourse too, they're just not always sure how to say it.

Trying something new to help you conceive can feel like closing the door on the thing you were doing before. And once you move on, "going backwards" can feel really painful and wrong, especially when TTC.

You might be ready to try something else, but is your partner? And how do you talk to them about it without making them feel like you've given up on what you've been doing together?

Reframe it: this isn’t about giving up

First, let's be clear: trying Béa isn't about giving up on what you've been doing. It's about giving yourselves more options. Think of it less like "moving on" and more like "adding a tool to the toolkit." Here are some ways to frame this conversation:

Option 1: The break approach

"I think we both need a break from the stress of timed intercourse and worrying about everything. What if we tried Béa for a few cycles and gave ourselves permission to take the pressure off?"

Option 2: The "Why not both?" approach

"This doesn't have to replace sex. It just means we have options. On days when we're stressed or tired or just not feeling it, we can use Béa. On days when we want to connect, we can do that too. We don't have to choose one or the other."

Option 3: The honest approach

"I'm struggling. I know we've been trying this way for a while, and I'm not saying it won't work. But I need something to change because the way we're doing things right now is taking a toll on me/us. Can we try Béa together?"

What if you’re on different timelines?

Sometimes one partner is ready to try something new and the other needs more time. That's okay. The key is to keep the conversation open and ongoing.

Try saying:

"I know you might not be ready to try this right now, and that's okay. But I'd like us to keep talking about it. Can we revisit this in [a week/two weeks/a month]?"

Give your partner space to process. You’d probably want that time, too. This is about both of you finding a path forward together.

Let's talk about the elephant in the room: will using Béa make your partner feel like they've "failed" at baby-making?

This is a deeply emotional territory, and if this fear is showing up for either of you, it's worth acknowledging it directly.

Why this feeling might come up

For a lot of men, there's a cultural narrative that equates fertility with virility, masculinity, and "performance." If sex hasn't resulted in pregnancy yet, some men might internalize that as a personal failure. And introducing a device that replaces sex can feel like confirmation of that failure.

The truth is a lot simpler: Béa isn't a replacement for your partner. It's not a statement about failure. It's a simple tool that works with your bodies, not instead of them.

How to address this fear head-on

If you think this might be a concern for your partner, don't dance around it. Address it directly:

"I want to be honest with you about something. I'm worried that suggesting Béa might make you feel like I'm saying sex hasn't 'worked' or that we’ve/you've somehow failed. That's not what this is about at all. You haven't failed. We haven't failed. This is just about giving ourselves the best possible chance, in a way that's less stressful for both of us."

Some key points to emphasize:

• Béa doesn't replace him - it still requires his sperm, your body, and your partnership. It's just a different delivery method.
• Conception is complex - it's not about "performance." Timing, cervical fluid, sperm placement, stress levels - there are so many factors. Béa helps optimize some of those factors.
• This is a team decision - you're not saying "this is what we're doing." You're saying "I think this could help us. What do you think?"
• Lots of couples use help - from OPKs to fertility monitors to IUI to IVF. Using tools isn't failure; it's being proactive and informed about your fertility journey.

Reframing Success

Sometimes it helps to reframe what "success" means in this journey. Success isn't just "conceiving through intercourse." Success is:

• Supporting each other through a difficult time
• Maintaining your connection and intimacy
• Making informed decisions together
• Finding a path that works for both of you
• Eventually building your family

Béa is about all of those things. It's about taking care of your relationship while you're working toward your goal. Sounds pretty wise to us.

Okay, let's be real: Béa isn't cheap. And when you're already stressed about TTC, adding a financial conversation to the mix can feel overwhelming. So, how do you talk to your partner about the price?

First, acknowledge the reality

Don't minimize the cost. Your partner will appreciate honesty:

"I know Béa is a significant investment, and I want to talk about whether this is something we can/want to do together."

Béa is about 1/20th the cost of IUI, Béa is about 1/50th the cost of IVF. If Béa works for you, you're potentially avoiding thousands in more intensive treatments.

You can't put a price on intimacy, and we hear all the time that Béa gives people back their intimate lives. Less stress = better mental health = better for your relationship. Think of this as an investment in your relationship as much as in conception.

Address the real fear: "What if we spend money on this and it doesn’t work?"

It's not just "can we afford this?" It's "what if I convince you to do this, we spend this money, and it doesn't work? How will we talk about it then?" And we totally get it. Here’s an option for how you might want to address this: 

"I know there's a risk in trying this - there's no guarantee it will work. But I've thought about it, and I think the risk of not trying something new is higher for us right now. If we try Béa and it doesn't work, at least we'll know we tried everything we could. We'll know we didn't just keep doing the same thing and hoping for different results. And honestly? I think we need this for our relationship, regardless of the outcome."

Making It a Shared Decision

Money conversations work best when both partners feel heard and involved:

"What if we commit to trying it for [X cycles]? If it's not working for us - either in terms of results or how we feel about it - we can stop. But let's give it a real shot."

"Can we look at the cost together and talk about whether this feels feasible? I don't want to make this decision alone. This is our money and our choice together."

Yes, Béa is an investment. And investing in your relationship, your mental health, and your path to parenthood is a totally understandable thing to do. It’s a team decision, and an important one. Let your partner be part of working through the answer with you.

Final thoughts: you’re not alone in this

If you've made it this far, you're clearly deeply invested in bringing a partner on the journey, and someone who wants to navigate this conversation thoughtfully. That's a brilliant, brave thing.

Remember: there's no perfect way to have this conversation. What matters is that you're honest, you're kind (to yourself and your partner), and you're willing to listen to each other.

Some final tips:

• Pick the right time - not when either of you is stressed, tired, or distracted
• Have resources ready - maybe share our website with your partner so they can learn about Béa on their own
• Give it time - your partner might need to sit with this idea before they're ready to talk about it
• Come back to it - if the first conversation doesn't go perfectly, that's okay. This is an ongoing dialogue, not a one-time conversation 
• Celebrate that you're trying - even having this conversation is a sign that you're both committed to finding a path forward together

You've got this. And we've got you.