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Mutual masturbation

15 May 2023

What is Mutual Masturbation?

Mutual masturbation either refers to touching yourself while your partner pleasures themself or when partners masturbate or use sex toys on each other. Like many other sexual activities, mutual masturbation is a way for partners to give each other pleasure or sexual stimulation.

How to Explore Mutual Masturbation

Mutual masturbation is an intimate way to explore yourself and your partner. It can be enjoyed as the only activity you do with your partner or be part of foreplay leading up to other activities like oral or penetrative sex. Orgasm doesn’t have to be the end goal of mutual masturbation.

Not convinced? Here are some tips for how to explore it:

  • Get fancy
    Dress up and then undress. We’re not talking costumes (unless you want to) but even an outfit you know your partner likes can help set the mood and then they can help take it off (unless you’re open to a strip tease).
  • Choose a space
    Whether you’re in bed, on the sofa, in the bathtub (possibly not the most comfortable but bubbles!) make sure you and your partner are in a comfortable space where you can enjoy each other.
  • Try different positions
    We're not all Olympic gymnasts, so don't worry if you can't put your feet behind your head. Start small, maybe try lying on your sides or do it in the kitchen for a change. (Béa Fertility does not accept liability for any injuries caused by sexual acts attempted on top of a dining table – or any other sort of table).
  • Try different techniques
    This could involve stimulating erogenous zones, introducing sex toys and using lubricant. Anything you think could heighten your experience - go for it!
  • Spice it up
    Consent before proceeding is key here. Talk to your partner about using a blindfold (this might help if you’re feeling shy about being exposed) or having your/their hands tied up.
  • Over the phone
    The 90s called (yes - because they couldn’t text…) to remind you about phone sex. But seriously, if you or your partner travel, phone sex can be a great way to explore mutual masturbation and connect when you can’t see each other. Neither of you travel regularly? Don't let that stop you – try some sneaky phone sex anyway. Feeling risqué? Opt for a video call instead.

Feeling Awkward?

If you’re not into it, be open with your partner. The purpose of mutual masturbation is to be mutually satisfying, so let them know if you want to pause or stop altogether. You could always try it again another time.

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