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Wellbeing & Mental Health
It's getting steamy
Apr, 25 2023
It's getting steamy

  To steam, or not to steam, that is the question... We have a new well-being motto: “Just because Gwyneth Paltrow does it, doesn’t mean you should.”   Vaginal steaming – a.k.a yoni steaming – is an alternative health remedy which involves sitting (naked) over a pot of steaming water infused with herbs. The steam is meant to cleanse the vagina while the herbs (commonly mugwort or wormwood) are said to help regulate menstruation, ease period cramps and reduce bloating. While Gwyneth Paltrow may have made yoni steaming chic, do we really know if it works? And more importantly - is it safe? Steaming Theory The practice of vaginal steaming has been offered by holistic ‘clinics’ as an alternative therapy for some time and embraces detoxifying traditions from Asia and Africa. The vulva is exposed to heat and herbs for perceived hygiene, the elimination of odour and relief of vaginal irritations.    Steaming in Practice The vaginal steaming trend seems to come from the misguided notion that the vagina needs cleaning. In reality, the vagina is self-cleaning (yes – vaginas are amazing!) with natural secretions that contain good bacteria which are there to protect it.    Some public health officials believe that steaming itself can be unhealthy. Excessive heat in the vagina may disrupt its natural pH balance, allowing unwanted bacteria and yeasts to grow, not to mention make it itchy.    And while we’re talking about risks - you might sustain second-degree burns from blowing hot steam up your fanny (if this happens, please get immediate medical attention).   Steaming for Fertility The microbiome of the vagina plays a pivotal role in fertility. In fact, the lack of naturally occurring vaginal bacteria is linked with females who experience fertility problems and can impact the outcome of fertility treatments. Vaginal steaming can impair our natural microbiome.   In addition to our microbiome, the pH levels in the vagina can be affected by steam. When trying to conceive, sperm must travel through the vagina and the cervical canal before reaching the fallopian tubes. An imbalanced pH level in the cervix or vagina can damage a sperm enough to prevent it from fertilising an egg (if it even gets that far).   Steaming and Pleasure  Since vaginal steaming can lead to vaginal dryness, we think it’s important to highlight that steaming could lead to discomfort or pain during sex. A study in the journal of sexual medicine found that most females felt more easily orgasmic when sex was wetter and thought their partner preferred sex to feel more wet than dry.    So, for your health, your fertility and your sex life – please don’t steam your vagina. 

Wellbeing & Mental Health
Single Parents: it's time to drop the 'single' in 'single mum'
Apr, 25 2023
Single Parents: it's time to drop the 'single' in 'single mum'

Is it time to drop the "single" in single mum? Regardless of their relationship status, parents are parents and they deserve to be respected for it, not shamed. 'Single mum' has traditionally connoted poverty and lack of support. But the term is laden with judgmental baggage that doesn’t do single mums, single dads, or single parents in general, justice. It’s a loaded word, thrown around as though the baggage it carries doesn’t exist. It’s not a label that fits, so is it time to discard it? Society has traditionally held an oddly diametric view of 'single mums'. We raise them on a pedestal and then proceed to pity their place there. “Look at the amazing job she’s doing” then “Must be so hard doing it all alone”. Not every mother is single because she ‘somehow’ ended up that way. Some mums swipe right for years before deciding they deserve better. Some mums never open an app, choosing instead to trust that there is some sort of plan they don’t yet know about. Some mums are single by choice. Some aren’t. Irrespective, it’s time to drop one word out of the equation: single.  The majority of the 11 million 'single' parent families in the US are headed by mothers. What this statistic doesn’t tell us is that these mothers are carving out a life for themselves – they did not care to wait for a partner. They did not care to leave the most life-altering decision they will make in the hands of a dating app, hoping that the last swipe might turn out ok. They took matters into their own hands. Being a single mother is not about being alone.  The reality is, most single mums are not, well, single. They have their best friend a phone call away. They have colleagues willing to cover for them when they need it most. They have mothers, fathers, nieces and siblings. Grandparents, aunties, nieces and nephews. They have a crew of friends; the family they chose. In short, they have a support network the size of a village, a village that can be, in some cases, more supportive than a single partner. We, as a society, focus on the wrong thing. We’re busy talking about those who choose to be single mums when what we actually should focus on is those who choose motherhood. The "single" part could be intentional or circumstantial – the choice in this equation that matters is the choice to become a mother.  The stories we hear from mothers who chose to forge on ahead are stories filled with familial strength, perseverance, courage, and above all, love. We hear stories of mothers making meatloaf or lasagna or soup ahead of a due date, frantically filling freezers for daughters who will have their hands full. We hear stories of prospective mothers going through rounds of fertility treatment, with no one to help with their injections, hoping to double their little family, from one to two. We hear stories of legions of friends, bearing hugs and food and cries of “go take a nap, I’ll take care of everything”. What we don’t hear are stories of isolation or loneliness. Of course, there are moments when these emotions rise to the top, but to reduce the journey to moments of emotion would be disingenuous. It’s time to stop belittling single mums Dropping single from our lexicon is important for a different reason: it’s reductive. Women are choosing to start families irrespective of whether there is a partner in their life or not, because, well, we don’t need a stable, sperm-owning partner to be a family. To refer to these women as "single" is crude. It indicates that they’re somehow less than a mother, as though they need a special label attached to ‘mother’ that ‘others’ them from those who have a partner. When we talk about single mums and mums, we tell the world that there are two categories, defined not by motherhood but by relationship status.  The journey to motherhood is a long road. Some adopt, some foster, some go through many, many fertility treatment cycles, some search tirelessly for a sperm donor and some work double time before their new arrival comes. To those who call the women choosing to start their families alone "selfish" – this could not be further from the truth. Being a single parent is the opposite of being selfish. For obvious reasons. But, what about single dads? Conversely, single dads are lauded for their bravery. Raising a child is seen as a female job, and men who do so are placed on a pedestal not only for their parenting skills but also for the assurance of the masculinity they must feel to undertake a ‘female’ role. Ask any solo father or single dad and you’ll get a very different picture. They are parents, like solo mothers, they face similar trials and dedicate their time to ensuring the best for their children. The difference is that society applauds one and pities the other. Single dads are brave for trying to parent without a female partner, while solo mothers are spurned because they couldn’t find a man to stay with them and their child. Few parents would find these stereotypes helpful. They chose to be parents and make sacrifices every day for the well-being and happiness of their children. They don’t need pity or applause or judgement. "Single" or "solo" parent sounds like they’re alone but – as anyone who has ever had a small child tries to come into the bathroom with them will know – this is rarely the case. This article was edited by Béa Fertility, from a previous article on Medium by Béa Fertility CEO Tess Cosad.

Wellbeing & Mental Health
Trans Visibility Day 2023
Apr, 25 2023
Trans Visibility Day 2023

Match 31st is International Transgender Day of Visibility, an annual celebration of transgender and non-binary people. Raising awareness about the massive level of discrimination, violence and daily challenges transgender people still sadly face, while celebrating their contribution to society. We know we're probably not the best people to comment on discrimination so instead, we're going to focus on family-forming options for transgender and non-binary people. (If you want gorgeous prose on the complexities of discrimination written by people who really know what they're talking about, we've put links to some of the Béa Team's favourite pieces at the bottom of this email for you). Planning ahead If you are currently taking hormones while undergoing gender transition, or you are about to, it can add another level of complexity when it comes to fertility treatments. Some hormone therapies or surgeries may have an impact on your future fertility and it’s important to know what options are available to you if you’re thinking of having children in the future. Preserving your future fertility When we write it down, preserving your fertility can look fairly simple (there are only two bullet points below) but it's important to get the ball rolling early so you have all the information you need nice and early. For Trans Men: For Trans Women: ➡️ Freezing eggs➡️ Freezing ovarian tissue ➡️ Freezing sperm➡️ Freezing testicular tissue Ready to have children? If you have frozen eggs, sperm or tissue stored at a fertility clinic, you can use them in a fertility treatment to have children. This will likely be through IVF (in vitro fertilisation) and treatment pathways will differ depending on whether you wish to carry a pregnancy yourself or you decide to have a partner or surrogate carry the pregnancy. Hormonal therapies Oestrogen and testosterone therapies can change your physical appearance but they can also have an impact on your fertility, so you may need to stop your hormone therapy for fertility treatment. For some people, fertility can be restored when they stop their hormone therapy, although it’s not a guarantee. Along with physical changes, you may experience hormonal changes such as mood swings. These changes may trigger gender dysphoria. This can be particularly upsetting as gender dysphoria is often something many people may have struggled with a lot before having access to hormone therapy. In order to get the best support possible when proceeding with fertility treatment, it’s important to be open with your care team – your GP, gender identity clinic, fertility specialists and counsellors. If you want children but don’t have frozen sperm or eggs Unfortunately, many people are not offered the choice to preserve their fertility before undergoing gender reassignment procedures, but there are still other family-forming options. You can have fertility treatments as a single parent or with a partner using donor eggs or donor sperm, or you can explore adoption routes. Additional Support Having children may not be on your mind right now, but it could be helpful to discuss the topic with other trans people who have been in your position. The Gender Identity Clinic can discuss fertility with you and your family members should you wish. Articles the Béa team love 🌈 Fair HQ | 5 Actions That Really Make a Difference to Your Trans Employees🌈 Mermaids | Visibility is the beginning, liberation is the goal🌈 Stonewall | Trans Visibility: A Global Perspective